How to begin?
I started blogging seriously about 8 months ago, and fell in love with it. My wee blog 'Drybrushed, With Love' was a loving dedication to my study of scenic art and my daft life with my boyfriend in our first flat.
Sporadically but enthusiastically I documented dinners, hamsters, paint stains, graduation and, eventually, our engagement. There was no theme, no big idea - I like to talk about my life and the good things in it. And then life wasn't so good. Life was no longer worth documenting or commenting on, because it had changed.
Ian's mother died very suddenly of a heart attack on Saturday the 5th of August. We rushed to hospital after being told she had collapsed. When we arrived, ushered into a small room we were told she had died. Just like that, no warnings, no history, no goodbye, just gone. And life changed forever.
My fiance is an incredible person, his strength is more than admirable, it's awe inspiring. I've been so proud to stand by his side throughout this hard time, my flimsy shoulders have been soggy and shaky - but I can tell you there's no person I'd rather have at my side if something were to happen to me.
Several times since that day I have went to my little blog and tried to post, but every single time the sadness overwhelmes me and I can't. Because that post is the last real thing I have of her.
'Just Say Yes' was about our engagement party. I tried my best to put into words what you feel when your entire life is ahead of you and you're holding the hand of somebody you love. Those photos and words are from a different life, a different time, a different Luisa. The post has the last family photo Diane will ever be in, I never knew how precious things can suddenly become.
And a few days after I put it up, Diane text me. She had seen the page, had loved it. She told me I was her 'clever wee future daughter in law' and I said 'thanks maw Preston'. It's the last thing I have of her and I can't ever change it. I want that blog to remain in that time, that life that doesn't belong to us anymore, when people were invincible and truly bad things didn't happen and I was safe.
So, all that sadness later, here I am. I don't want to stop blogging. Knowing nothing will ever be the same, I want to try to pick up the pieces and start again. This is my attempt.
I'm 23 years old, I work freelance for Film and TV as art department/scenic artist, I'm getting married to an amazing man in 2013 and I'm looking forward to and dreading Christmas this year.
Bare with me. Let's see how this goes.
Luisa
Xx
"I'm not angry, I'm just saying...Sometimes goodbye is a second chance,"
- Shinedown
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